It’s been 3 years since we lost my father in law and there are many days when I still miss him. The last few months before he passed away were definitely traumatic, but my memory of him is never that. It is always the other happy moments.
His deep laugh as he would watch my niece twirl and play. The slow drawl of HELLOOOOO on the phone. The reluctance to eat on time and how I had to constantly remind him to. The promptness with which he would order his own medication every month. The happiness in his eyes every time his daughter would come home. I know he would have LOVED seeing Baby Kays grow up and would have had SO much fun with him.
It definitely took me a long time to make peace with the fact that I didn’t get a lot of time with him. However, I am lucky that I got to spend a fair amount of time with him because I worked from home ever since I got married. He was a really good person.
When I got pregnant, I honestly knew from the start that it would be a baby boy. Maybe I manifested that way. Maybe my father in law also knew that he couldn’t get enough time with me and chose to come back as my baby. Either way, I couldn’t be happier with a baby boy.
Baby Kays has definitely inherited 3 qualities that I saw in my father in law.
- Kindness. My father in law was a very kind soul. I see that in Baby Kays already. He pats the chair and asks people to sit when they come home. He shares his favourite fruit with us and always wants to give bananas to the cows we see.
- People person. My father in law was that person who could connect with anybody. Baby Kays is a pandemic baby and for the initial 8-9 months, he saw nobody but my parents and me. I was very worried about how he would adjust into a joint family and very anxious about him meeting the extended family (we have a BIG family). Honestly, Baby Kays is definitely like my father in law in that aspect. He NEEDS people. He LOVES having his aunts and uncles and cousin around. He will happily play with them, and even let them feed him. When they leave, I see that he gets very sad. There is no doubt that Baby Kays is a people person.
- Smiling from within. When Baby Kays smiles, his entire face smiles. His eyes light up, his lips widen and one can’t help but smile with him. When my father in law would smile, it would be from within him. A deep smile which involved his WHOLE face.
I’ve heard so many stories of how hardworking my father in law was and how sincere he was. Those are the qualities that helped him to grow in life. I would definitely want Baby Kays to inherit those as well.
In the words of Black Panther, Death is not the end, It is more of a stepping off point.