What do I see when I look into a mirror
Mirror Me: Hey krupsy, you look tired. When did your skin look so dry and stretched out? What’s with those under eye bags and the chapped lips? You need to take care of yourself, yaar.
Me me : I know I know, but where is the time for skincare? I know, I have to drink more water and eat better. I know I am closer to 40 and I need to get my health in order. I know I should be finding ways to take better care of myself. But where is the time?
Time? That’s in your hands darling. Honestly, what are you doing with your time?
Classes, man. Classes and more classes! And of course trying to balance time with Apu and Karthi.
Well, who asked you to take so many students?
Ahem! Excuse me, you have this insane NEED to help others. Especially those who are on the edge of failing. Why do you feel this constant need to be a saviour?
Because I am both grateful to the people who saved me when I was failing and I feel pity for those who are in the same position. What if I can actually help them and make a difference?
You really think you are going to be able to pulling a drowning child out of the water when you don’t even swim yourself? And exactly how many people do you think you can save at the same time? Also, if you are so intent on saving them, then why do you worry about not being good enough?
Because well it is a legit fear.
Yeah I get that. But you have to be easy on yourself.
Well, that’s hard, okay. I have high expectations of myself . I never did as a student. But as a teacher I do.
Don’t you think this whole obsession with classes and helping students is affecting you?
It probably is.
I mean what about Apu?
What about him
What if all he sees is teacher amma, not amma amma.
You know you look dull because you’ve become boring
yeah, you don’t dance around the house or do random makeup videos. You don’t talk on stories and you barely take the effort to dress up.
Ahem! I dress up for classes okay.
Again with the classes.!!
Oh you are one to talk.
When was the last time you sat down and did nothing?
Okay, I think this introspection has lost perspective. Let’s get back to why you look so dull and the fact that you need a facial ASAP.
uh uh no! you are not changing the subject
Wait, look there, Isn’t that the leak from the rain. I see it in the corner of my view.
Where where? Damn! We have to get that fixed as soon as possible.
yes, you do. Now go ahead, apply that concealer kajal lipstick and get out of here.
I will, and I will be back for another conversation. We aren’t done, lady!
POV: If I was to have a conversation with me in the mirror I can guarantee this is how it would spiral in a whole other direction.